Castigation

He tries my patience so,

Vomitting fire all the time,

I have to say no,

I think.

I have to give it back

to him.

Bile rises in my throat

Threatening to spill out

But I cannot be like him

Pathetic

Irrational

like him

So, I calm my nerves

I try to tell myself,

I am not him,

and I cannot be like him

I think of my gods

Of a serene place

to erase the screams.

But I cannot but wonder,

I have become like

the women I help

I tell them stand up,

for the self,

not take any shit from

any man's manliness

I tell them not to suffer

I tell them to take hold of their lives

But here I am

trying hard to think

of a serene place,

to erase the screams.