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He tries my patience so,
Vomitting fire all the time,
I have to say no,
I think.
I have to give it back
to him.
Bile rises in my throat
Threatening to spill out
But I cannot be like him
like him

So, I calm my nerves
I try to tell myself,
I am not him,
and I cannot be like him
I think of my gods
Of a serene place
to erase the screams.

But I cannot but wonder,
I have become like
the women I help
I tell them stand up,
for the self,
not take any shit from
any man's manliness
I tell them not to suffer
I tell them to take hold of their lives
But here I am
trying hard to think
of a serene place,
to erase the screams.


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