Anaahat

Picture-perfect he stands with an unreadable face his arms around her smiles in the offing and a baby in the pram. Heavy bags tug at his shoulders and he stands, an invisible centimetre, minus his height, with the world he recreated –a man, a woman, a child. a life xeroxed as the one he knew with the trappings of life to anchor himself. And on wakeful nights while changing diapers, and in moments of solitude, fear creeps inside of him, evaluating his abilities to re-create the picture in his mind. From a distance, an observer zooms his lens, a spectator who spends nights witnessing others live their loves, questioning his own stance, his own ways with no trappings with the shackles de-shackled, with no connect with a soul except his own.

They are all there on my chat list, the first one, the last one 'Travelling' reads the status message of one, 'do not disturb' says another, and I contemplate, those who say ex-lovers can be good friends, were never one or another, or maybe they simply don’t love anymore. But then, what is love, but all the things you never thought possible of yourself? the things you thought you’d never say, the highs you’d fly, the lows you’d reach, the depths your character would stoop? Should I say, ‘How are you doing?’ ‘whats up?’ Or maybe I should just shut up? Negating all the mundane things to say, of stayin’in touch, of socializing, of sharing pictures and geographical locations, to leave the past where it belongs, with no thankyous, no apologies, no forward, no rewind, only a memory of a place where you and I met, while in transit through the various planes of the metaphysical realm.

this letter that i hold, speaks a different language today, tells many different things, than what i read years ago. it emotes some love which i refused to see, cause i was looking for words instead. listen to me now, i was looking for a bond too, a connection, which was so aptly crafted, captured in this letter, when i was looking for words instead. at this hour, i sit still, drowned, overwhelmed, wanting, to bring back the time, to say different things, for a chance with the past, to tell you that the words don’t matter, when all this while, i have only, been looking for you instead.

Gimmetime, gimmetime, Give me time to pay my bills, Give me time to learn the thrills, Give me time to explore, Give me time when I want more, Let me see where I am headed, Let me find the path I am seeking, Let me see the hidden treasures, Let me find the purest souls, Let me learn to stand still, And learn the ropes of happiness.