Pursuing Happiness

I wake up every day battling with the idea of God and what he made us to be. With all the philosophy of “Objectivisim” and “Randian” (am sorry if anyone finds this offensive); I am battling my idea of God. This God doesn’t come and go within me. He just doesn’t raise his head in the Temples or in the small ‘puja ghar’ in my house. He is there within me. He is an inseparable part of me. The one constantly observing and disseminating things in front of me. He is that someone who always gives me company. He doesn’t dessert me, as he is there at my request, at my need. And he answers all my calls.

So, I conclude, God is someone who lifts the darkness of loneliness in Man. The quest is always to evade this loneliness felt deep within. The loneliness which raises its head in the dark of the night, when the world seems to sleep, the owls awaken and the sound magnifies. Doesn’t matter if you are bound by the social institutions to keep you caged. Doesn’t matter if you choose the path of your life, or you choose your life partner or you live with Mom and Dad, or you carry your god with you: This loneliness raises its head, threatening to erase your walls built of noise and chaos.

And one fine day, after many years of following, rebelling, living the social institutions, keeping God to walk with you, you come face to face with your darkest fears: ‘this all is immaterial’. You are left with the questions of existence which go beyond the meaning of identity and self consciousness. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Do we just live to see the next day? Do we have all the relations just to help us go through with this torture?

This is when ‘faith’ and belief come to the rescue. The idea that someone is watching over us. That someone is greater, more powerful, more reliable, more knowing, with many answers is “up” there and is keeping an eye on us is quite appealing. It saves our day. The beautiful structures of religion, the emptiness and the echoes are meant to signify the magnanimity of “that” someone. The All Knowing.

So, can this pursuit of happiness with virtuous selfishness and self-interest, be pursued as an individual? Doesn’t this happiness depend upon the people who surround us? The very people for whom it has been advised to be selfless against?

For ethical egoism, where is the ego without the people for which this ego lives? Can one live without the other? Does this mean that this battle is constant?

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