Anaahat

It’s an easy slip, one thought, one irrational act, one memory or one word from the wrong file of fact, and the castle of peace, of silence, of manna, threatens to collapse. An apparition you see, of debris near your feet, the bricks and mortar of the castle you built, for a silenced mind, and an lightened soul. And with one irrational act, one memory, the castle of manna, threatens to collapse.

The moon is brightest today. One of those days when I want to capture it somewhere. Yet, I do not. I simply gaze at it. It has been a bitter-sweet day. One of those days when I realise I am different than others. A few years back, I would fight this difference to become one with others. I would want to be anonymous. But not anymore.

The last few minutes before Shuti left her home, usually decided her day ahead. IF she was late, there was no forgiving herself. She would go through the entire day with an internal whip slaying her soul. If she was just on time, she told herself tomorrow she will be early. If she was before time, she would kill herself with the pressure to perform consistently tomorrow and the rest of the week. But she had started her day pretty early today. She had woken up with 2 hours in hand before her estimated time to leave home. But then, she just sat on her rocking chair and kept staring outside the window, soaking in the silence. It was as if she was in a trance. The questions regarding the purpose of life, regarding the weight of knowledge, of growth, of growing seemed to be on hold at these moments. Just sitting and breathing were a good enough reason to live. Sometimes she felt she could just sit like this. For hours. For days. Forever. She got up after a while. Suddenly her purpose shi...